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Showing posts from June 29, 2025

When Sharing Feels Like Too Much

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  The Hidden Troubles Caused by Excessive Venting After discussing the art of listening, let's now turn to the speaker's role. After all, when two people begin a verbal exchange, communication starts—and it's a two-way street. When either side goes to extremes, it can lead to information overload. For instance, when the listener and speaker are not on the same cognitive wavelength, or when someone talks too much without a clear focus, communication may fail altogether. At worst, the listener becomes overwhelmed, like a processor crashing under too much junk data. 😂 We've all experienced this: a reasonable amount of talking can help us ease emotions, clarify thoughts, and even enhance mutual understanding and intimacy. But when talking becomes frequent, excessive, and unfiltered, a once-comforting dialogue can quickly turn into a burden. Sometimes, even after pouring out confusion or frustration, if the core issue remains unresolved, the original emotions return. When...

当倾诉成了负担

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                              过度诉说者带来的隐性麻烦          阐述了倾听的相关内容,接下来探讨一下诉说者的部分。毕竟当两个人开始用语言交流时,信息传递就开始了,而且是交互形式的传递。对于双方来讲,任何一方过度都会导致信息过载,比如听者和说者的认知不在同一范围,再比如说的太多而没有重点等等,要么导致信息交互过程失败,要么垃圾信息太多导致接收方处理器缓慢或者直接宕机。😂          其实我们都有切身体会,适当的诉说可以帮助我们舒缓情绪、整理思绪,甚至增进彼此的理解和亲密。然而,当说变得频繁、过度,甚至不加筛选地倾倒时,原本温暖的沟通便可能演变成一种负担。并且有时候即便说完了自己的困惑和压抑的情绪,由于事情的症结依旧存在,说完之后原来的情绪还会回来。如果这样循环往复而不真的解决问题,那么说者很可能成了一个情绪垃圾制造者而不自知。          或多或少我们都遇到过这样的人:总有说不完的烦恼、诉不尽的情绪,仿佛每一次见面都成了对方的“情绪垃圾桶”;自己的回应,或许不再重要,是否在听,似乎也无所谓。         那么, 过度倾诉到底会带来什么问题?         1. 情绪转移,变成“情绪污染”           情绪是有传染性的。一个人长时间反复倾诉负面内容,会让倾听者也逐渐产生沉重感、甚至焦虑和压抑。这种情绪的“输出”如果没有节制,就成了对他人的“情绪污染”。有时候,听完对方一番苦水,自己也莫名心烦气躁,却又说不清哪里不对。          2. 关系失衡:一方说太多,一方只剩消耗           健康的人际关系是相互的,但过度倾诉者常常只顾自己的倾诉需求,却忽略了倾听者的...

The Listener's Awareness

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                            True Connection Is Forged in Silence The Mindset of a True Listener We often say, “Listening is a virtue,” but rarely do we pause to deeply understand what it actually means. To be a listener is not just about staying quiet, nor is it simply about “lending an ear.” Listening is a profound act of awareness. Beneath words, between emotions, a true listener is not a passive companion, but an engaged presence. Their heart is listening—and so is their soul. So, what kind of mindset does a true listener hold? 1. Listening is not silence—it's presence Silence on the surface doesn't automatically mean someone is listening. True listening often comes with a warm kind of quiet. A listener receives the speaker's words with presence and attentiveness, feeling into the emotions and intent behind them—not while mentally preparing a reply. This kind of presence—deep, undistracted—creates a spac...

倾听者的认知

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                                               在沉默中成就真正的交流          我们常说“倾听是一种美德”,却很少深入去理解, 作为一个倾听者,意味着什么 。 倾听,不仅是保持沉默,也不仅是把耳朵“借给”别人,更是一种深刻的意识行为。在言语之下,在情绪之间,一个真正的倾听者,不是消极的陪伴者,而是有觉知的回应者。他们的心在听,他们的灵魂也在接收。         那么, 一个真正的倾听者,认知是什么样的?           1. 倾听不是无言,而是全然的在场           表面上的安静并不等于倾听。真正的倾听,往往是一种 有温度的沉默 。倾听者用心接住对方的话语,感受其背后的情绪和意图,而不是一边听一边在脑中组织自己的回应。 倾听是一种完整的“在场”,哪怕不说一句话,对方也能感受到“我被看见了”“我被理解了”。          2. 倾听者不是评判者,而是容纳者          倾听并不是给对方打分、下定义,甚至不是立即提出解决方案。 一个合格的倾听者知道:有些时候, 人不是要答案,只是想被理解 。真正重要的不是说什么,而是你能不能让对方感受到:“你说的话,我听见了;你经历的情绪,我尊重它的存在。” 这份不评判的态度,是让人放下戒备、释放情绪的第一步。          3. 倾听需要边界,更需要智慧          很多倾听者在最初会犯一个错误: 认为自己必须回应、必须拯救、必须给出帮助 。 但现实是,不是每一段倾诉都需要干预。倾听者要有自我觉知: 我可以陪你经历...