Sense of Proportion

               

                      The Mastery of a Sense of Proportion

When we talk about this concept, most Chinese people understand what it means. However, in English, there doesn't seem to be a single word that captures it precisely. It's more like a state of being or an action that requires different expressions depending on the context. The degree to which this sense must be applied varies with changing circumstances. The process is much like archery or shooting: before releasing the shot, there’s a moment of aiming—finding the heart, the center, the target.

Take the simple example of cooking. From selecting ingredients to cleaning, sorting, chopping, preparing seasonings, cooking, and finally cleaning the kitchen—each step requires just the right touch, the right degree.

Basic Steps of Cooking:

1. Selecting / Preparing Ingredients
   Choose fresh ingredients, wash, cut, and prepare the main and side components.

2. Seasoning Preparation
   Add salt, soy sauce, cooking wine, and spices as per the recipe. Some items need marinating to enhance flavor.

3. Heating / Preparing Cookware
   Choose the appropriate method—stir-fry, pan-fry, boil, steam, simmer, stew, etc.

4. Cooking Process
   Add ingredients in the correct order, control the heat, stir, flip, or add water when necessary.

5. Finishing / Plating
   For stews, reduce the sauce; for stir-fries, finish off quickly. Garnish with scallions, sesame seeds, oil—presentation matters.

6. Cleaning Up
   Wash pots and dishes, wipe counters, keep the kitchen tidy.

Now, let’s zoom in on one step—for instance, ingredient selection. First, you need to understand who will be eating. What’s the planned menu? Without this knowledge, you can’t set a clear cooking objective. You also need to know their preferences, which could come from asking or through observation. Some will tell you directly they like sweet-and-sour or spicy food; others may not speak much or dislike communication.

So how can you tell? Look at their clothing, skin tone, and appearance.

1. Wealthy individuals usually have fair skin, dress tastefully and discreetly, sometimes with a slight oily sheen to their complexion, and tend toward a plump build with less defined muscles. They typically prefer light, sweet, nutritious, organic foods.

2. Business professionals also have fair skin, but dress more formally—clean, sharp, and coordinated. They value grooming. Body types are often slim or slightly overweight, with dark circles, mild hunching, and either pale or dull skin (not tanned). Since their work isn’t physically demanding, they don’t crave much salt. Their demeanor is restrained and composed. They walk and speak quickly, logically, and professionally. Their food choices lean toward convenience, light vegetarian options, high protein, and occasional treats like sweets, chocolate, floral teas, or fried foods for stress relief.

3. Skilled laborers tend to be sturdier and stronger, with darker or rougher skin, dressed simply in practical clothes. They may appear steady or fatigued. Their preferences include high-carb meals, meats, and bold flavors—hearty, satisfying, and affordable. They like chilled drinks, soda, and tea. They typically don’t go for low-calorie or sweet foods.

4. Homebodies vary in physique but are usually softer in appearance. Due to less sun exposure, their skin is pale or yellowish, but not easily tanned. Hairstyles are casual, and clothing is comfortable and practical. Their temperament is gentle, quiet, or delicate. They prefer balanced, home-cooked meals. They enjoy cooking and choose to prepare food themselves. Their taste leans toward light, low-oil, low-salt, low-sugar meals. They favor grains, vegetables, tofu, more greens and less meat. They love snacks and small bites. Emotional eating is common—snacking when bored or stressed. They prefer tea, herbal infusions, black coffee, and low-sugar drinks. In summer, they may make iced drinks or juices. Some insist on warm water or lemon water and generally avoid sugary sodas or energy drinks. Many enjoy baking, making desserts, trying new recipes, and exploring trendy or health-conscious foods.

These patterns roughly match about 80% of cases. Of course, there are always exceptions, which call for more communication and experience to discern.

And all of this? This is only the preparation before the cooking even begins. Every step requires careful attention—a sense of proportion. A chef cannot just assume their dish will suit everyone’s taste. Otherwise, the restaurant won’t last long—unless the chef is so experienced that their intuition and control over proportion is second nature.

This gives rise to the old saying, “It’s hard to please all tastes”—being a chef is no easy task. Those who’ve never been one may never understand the struggle. This points to a wider social truth: “You won’t understand how difficult something is unless you’ve done it yourself.” Our perspectives shape our understanding of proportion—just like the disconnect between the rich and the rural, between men and women, between souls with different life paths. As Minglan said in The Story of Minglan, “It’s not painful until the stick falls on you.”

So many times, what we experience doesn’t feel distant or abstract—it’s right in front of us, yet still feels unreachable.

From the examples above, we see that confirming a goal always involves an ongoing process of understanding details and adjusting actions. In life and relationships, this is just as true. The content may change—from skin tone and food preferences to emotional traits, upbringing, and social roles. It’s like a math formula: the result changes based on the variables you input.

Most people go through life unaware of this process, unable to see the formula—so they never understand the outcome. We must start by observing the world and reflecting on our own experiences. Then, by integrating multiple sources of information, continuously analyzing and correcting, we begin to draw relatively accurate and objective conclusions. Our understanding can grow from fragmented knowledge to holistic insight.

Self-awareness, then, is the natural result of this process—a seamless harmony between the internal and external world.

Sometimes we can observe and gather the "numbers" we need for the formula. But we can't get all of them through observation alone. That’s where experience steps in. Experience provides depth, precision, and nuance. It sharpens our accuracy and helps us correct observational errors—and vice versa.

This is the essence of the saying “Knowledge and action in unity” (知行合一). Seeing is doing. Speaking and acting in alignment is knowing and doing as one. A great chef lives this truth. So do many of us in our respective crafts.

What a delightful truth: that one of life’s joys lies in living out this unity of knowing and doing. May we all discover meaning, abundance, joy, and freedom from confusion or fear—in the harmony of knowledge and action.

#self awareness #good observation