Why are human joys and sorrows not shared?

 

Most things in life don't go our way, and only a few can be shared with others

Why Did I Want to Write This Today? The main reason is that I often notice how frequently people end up "talking past each other."It is not about who is higher or lower, right or wrong. But when it comes to emotional exchange—where feelings could flow smoothly and harmoniously between people—such moments seem all too rare.

Have you ever felt, while talking to someone, as if there was something standing in the way? Words reached your lips but then slipped back down because it seemed pointless to say them. Personally, I have lost count of how many times I've experienced this, especially when trying to express emotions and feelings. It's not that the other person is at fault—it's just that, as the conversation goes on, the "frequencies" don't quite align. Even the most engaging topic becomes flat and tasteless. Add in some judgments shaped by personal values, and emotional communication quickly comes to a halt.

What we often don't realize is that, in our interactions, we carry the weight of values instilled in us from childhood—by family, society, and culture. These influences quietly trap us within invisible walls of our own. Each person's walls are different. So when we think we are communicating with another person, in reality, it is these invisible walls that are communicating with one another. Sometimes the walls are high, sometimes low; at best, with restraint, things stay civil. Without that restraint, arguments erupt—and the original intention of emotional exchange is lost.

I remember a childhood joke: a farmer said to a worker, "The weather is good today, perfect for planting. If we sow two acres of corn and two acres of wheat and water them well, next year's harvest will be excellent."The worker replied, " don't understand what you mean. I only know that if I follow the factory's instructions and finish each task exactly, my wages will be fine." On the surface, they were having a conversation, but in truth, each was speaking about completely different realities. Situations like this happen everywhere—in marriages, between parents and children, among colleagues and friends.

We all have vastly different perspectives and feelings about the same things. This is the true nature of our inner selves. Yet when we express those perspectives hoping for equal resonance, we often run into obstacles. Genuine understanding requires stepping into the other person's perspective and seeing things through their lens—a task far more difficult than it sounds. If even a small overlap or similarity can be found, that is already a blessing.

Take another example: someone in high spirits may want to share their joy, but the friend they turn to is weighed down by personal struggles. In such a moment, how can one expect the friend to share in their happiness or even empathize with it? Life's helplessness often sneaks in exactly like this. The balance between being true to oneself and extending tolerance and understanding to others is never easy to strike. After all, none of us can always be sensitive enough to immediately sense another person's joys or sorrows.

It feels as if between ourselves and others, there is always a thin membrane. If we wish to live more harmoniously, we need more self-awareness, sharper insight into others, mutual understanding, tolerance, and patience. Only then might we reduce the emotional conflicts that arise from differences. And perhaps, if we dare step outside our own invisible membrane, we may begin to glimpse the very different lives of others.

#self awareness #emotional conflict #differences